Most days I don't have a problem putting on my big girl panties and do my best to be the best special needs Mom I can be. Not sure why but this week has been really hard for me. Every once in awhile I tend to have some bad days and it feels like I can't keep doing what I'm doing for one more day or sometimes even for another second.
As I was putting Noah to bed one night this week, I hate to admit that I had the thought that I just couldn't do it anymore. I even told Scott I felt bad saying it but I was just tried of being Noah's Mom as he held me as I cried. What is wrong with me that I even felt that? Please don't feel ill of me. I love Noah with all of my heart. I would do anything for him but some days are just hard. Being a special needs Mom can be a very lonely place to be. Noah and I spend a lot of time together doing things that are making him stronger and giving him a better quality of life. Sometimes my life can be so overwhelming that its so hard to do anything. I hate when I get into feeling this way. I'm going to do my best to wake up in the morning and remember how blessed I am and keep being the best Mom I can be to Noah. Because, I do love him so very much and I thank God that I get to have such a beautiful soul to love.