I Love As Much As You
I anticipated complaining of a waking baby.
Not of being grateful he's able to wake at all.
I anticipated the wonder of time rushing past.
Not of reflecting on milestones so small.
I anticipated crying at immunizations and bumps while leaning his way.
Not of agonizing at more test, specialist and word of more delays.
I anticipated choices over preschool, clothes and scout troops.
Not of choices between hospitals, specialist and finding a support group.
I anticipated loving him, enjoying his independence from me soon.
Not loving him so much I'd want to keep him sheltered in my cocoon.
I anticipated health and perfection when my baby was inside,thinking
Anything less would be tragic.
But now that he is here, my special son had worked some kind of magic.
I anticipated anger and disappointment at this fate;
Not the joy and growth and knowledge that have become mine as of late.
I anticipated something different, that is certainly true;
But that's because I never could have anticipated one I love as much as you.
Kathleen Hoppe; August 1995