Scatteredbrained........ and other ramblings.

I've been really scattered-brained lately...... Forgetting why I walked in a room, putting a box of cereal in the freezer, making macaroni and cheese and I put the macaroni and the powder cheese together in the boiling water and bunch of other silly things. The day I thought I "lost" my keys put the icing on the cake. I was going to pick Morgan up from placement and was trying to find my keys. I looked everywhere.... I then went outside thinking maybe I left them in the ignition when I got home from picking up Noah from school. They were not only in the ignition but the van was still running. Mind you, the van has now ran for over 3hrs. What is wrong with me?

When you become a parent you look forward to all the first........ first smile, laugh, tooth, first time your child rolls over, sits up, first steps, first birthday. the list goes on and on. We have found ourselves looking at the opposite side of that lately. Morgan is a senior this year. We've watched her in her last the home game ( in the pouring down rain), the last parade she will be in the band, and the last halftime show. I'm know there are alot more last to come and I'm not looking forward to them at all. I know all parents go through this but, time goes so fast. I want my little girl back........

I have found myself really over whelmed lately....... I've been trying to get out in the morning while Noah is at school to exercise at the Y. I drop Noah off at school and then go the Y. When I'm done I go pick Noah up and take him home to start his therapy. Finding time to do all the house work is hard. There just doesn't seem like there is enough time in the day to get everything done.

On Friday I got news that a sweet 5yr old little boy that we had met in Cincinnati when we were doing HBOT had passed away. This news really threw me for a loop. I have struggled with this before and I find myself struggling with it again......... Why does God let children be born with disabilities? I know that this isn't the way to feel but right now I can't find any reason not too. I just don't understand...... I can't stop thinking about his family grieving his loss. They did everything they could to help him and nothing helped. It's just not fair. It got me thinking about Noah....... what if this was his last day on earth? Have I've done everything that I could do for him? Does he know that he is loved very much? Gosh I hate feeling this way.......


Sorry about the all over post but I had alot to get off my mind. Causing me not to sleep well, even with taking Tylenol PM's I hope this helps........

Susan