The Hardest and Best Decision We Ever Made

 Scott recently got me a new desk to do my scrapbooking on.   I came across these pictures while organizing everything.  What a wave emotion that followed that I didn't expect.  These pictures were taken when Noah had his feeding tube place almost 9 yrs ago. I remember how I felt making the decision to have it placed.  I felt I must be the worst Mom ever, I couldn't even feed my son enough to keep him from losing weight.  I hated giving him a bath because he looked so horrible.  You could see every bone in his little body.  I would feed him for hours and still wouldn't get enough in him. He was 5 1/2yrs old and only weighed 24lbs.  I thought I had failed as a Mom some how.  He was was loosing the battle.  I look back on it now and I'm sure he was knocking on death's door.  It was that bad....  I finally went to Scott and told him something needed to be done.  That was the hardest decision we have ever made.  But, it was also the best decision we have made for Noah.

After it was in I wondered why we had waited so long.  I no longer had to worry about Noah getting enough to eat or drink.  Over the years I've changed how and what I feed him.  Noah used to be fed all night long through a feeding pump and would only get Pediasure.  Noah now eats Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and a Snack before bed. I blend what we are having for meals in a Vitamix and put it through his tube and just because he has a feeding tube doesn't mean he can't eat things by mouth. He still enjoys eating applesauce, yogurt and loves cotton candy. 

 

This is Noah just 30 days after his surgery. ( and Ben Chapman, the Creature from the Black Lagoon)  He maybe had gained only about 2lbs but, he looked healthy, wasn't dehydrated and had the twinkle in his eye again.

Thanks for going down memory lane with me.

Susan